to be bald when you're anonymous. But meeting people one to one and looking someone in the eye is the hardest thing. Even with friends, I imagine they think I'm hideous and feel embarrassed for me. I try to imagine their shock - being bald with no eyelashes is a devastating look. People think, “Oh God, she must be really ill.”
‘Looking back, I was in complete panic mode at that time. I'd always had a deep lack of self-confidence and self-esteem, and this time I went under. I wasn't suicidal but I was incredibly low. My life was unmanageable -
I just wanted to be like a normal girl. So,
I started therapy, which I still find helpful.
‘I also tried everything to make my hair grow back - steroids, various kinds of acupuncture, and even Minoxidil, a cream used to treat male pattern baldness. I had such high hopes at the beginning of each treatment, but nothing worked for me.
‘Then, when I was 29, my sister Jayne, who works in the fashion industry, phoned to say she’d spoken to a lovely man called John Clifton, a master wigmaker from Mandeville
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of London, who was going to custom-make
me a wig for a shoot. It was a joyful moment – something nice was going to happen after four years floundering in an abyss.
‘The wig was made to measure from the finest quality European hair – which looks real and reacts naturally – and took eight months to arrive. Afterwards, I remember seeing my reflection in shop windows and it was a wonderful feeling: I looked like myself again. The wig was constructed on a fine webbing specially designed to fit my head, so I wasn’t frightened it would come off, which makes
a huge difference. It means you can live
a normal life. ‘On the shoot, which lasted
a couple of days, John and I got on really well and he told me all about his business. We became friends, and a little later he asked
me to work with him at Mandeville, talking to clients and managing the manufacturing side. Before that, I’d had a job restoring antiques,
but I was glad to leave because the chemicals were irritating my skin. ‘Working with him
has been fantastic – he’s so positive and
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